Hello, my loyal reader in the best years!
What goes through men’s heads? Because of what goes through most people’s heads, at least the hot-blooded, I wrote the story “All men are from Hollywood”, which this year I am expanding into a new English book with the same title “All men are from Hollywood” ). Why such a title? Because in men’s heads, even married ones, scenarios about sex with this or that woman are constantly woven, including almost everyone, from a sister-in-law to a colleague, from a fellow passenger on the bus to the husband’s best friend…
The vast majority of these scripts, like those that flood Hollywood with, are not turned into movies, but sit on dusty shelves or do not end with action. As for your husband: if you’ve suspected him of cheating on you for three years, he’s probably cheating on you. But it is not necessary. The fact that he has white spots on his panties once or twice (they are really white, do you think they are complete ejaculations or just remnants of arousal?) is of course no evidence that he has been in bed or anywhere else with another woman. I could be with myself. You know, the vast majority of men masturbate, and the rest lie that they don’t. What I admit is suspicious, however, is that your sex and marriage (especially sex) has improved since you suspected him of cheating on you. Partly it can be precociousness, and partly it can be something else: many men like “change”, the wife can become this “change”, in a way a new woman, if they have a constant mistress. I know, it sounds strange, but it can be. An acquaintance confided in me that he returned to his wife and left his young mistress mainly because the wife has a nicely arranged fur triangle down there, which he missed, and the mistress is naked between her legs. It happens! Why doesn’t it work? Because you obviously mean more to him than a lover (if he has one). Why doesn’t he leave her (if he has her)? Because he’s managed to have a girlfriend for three years and (in your words) “brings you around”. Why does he keep denying (if he really has a lover)? Because denial is the first line of defense, and because like most unfaithful men, they have a mistress (if they have one) just to spice up the sex.
What to do? Are you ready to leave him because of an unproven suspicion? Do you still want him as your husband? If the answer to the first question is no and to the second yes, start a strike in bed and tell him that you are ready to forgive him for the affair, if he admits it and ends it immediately, Tell him that otherwise you want a divorce (even if you don’t you want). If he wants to stay with you, he will most likely decide very quickly. But be ready for anything. Good luck. And thank you for your loyal readership.